Is it just mine or does everyone else have a mad family too?
Once, after I’d been away for a summer working and my family came to meet me at the airport they brought a home made “welcome home” banner. I was so embarrassed I almost turned around and went back to baggage hall.
We used to own a beat up Mazda estate, with different colour panels to the front and string to hold the boot shut (yea, Ireland, not that unusual pre MOT days) and I was always dreading if anyone from school would see us driving through our local town. 5 kids plus 2 dogs, complete mad house on wheels, so my mum used to get all the kids to shout “we know Sadbh (me)” , with all the windows rolled down, as we drove through.
We used to have geese (proper country we are talking here) and to arrive or leave out house you had to take the broom with you so they wouldn’t attack. We used to have a broom at the top of our road for visitors in the know. Those not in the know we used to enjoy watching them being chased back up the road by the mad geese, as you do.
My youngest sister went through a phase of only wearing floaty nighties all the time, with her pink princess wellies. No one ever stopped her or even commented.
Once my brother and a friend went to find our goat who had run away (yes goats too) but they stole a little bottle of whiskey from a neighbours window on the way. Two hours later we saw two 11 year old boys hurtling down the road holding on the the rope of a very fast moving and somewhat, no doubt shocked, goat! They were both completely drunk. My poor mum spent the whole evening rubbing their backs as they puked and puked, and giggled.
When I was 7 my younger brother and sister decided we were going to sleep in the garden in a den we made. We lasted till the middle of the night , (about 9 o’ clock) when we got so freaked out by the cat mewing outside and anyway it was a bit cold and wet with just the washing line and a sheet for a tent.
So did everyone else have a normal, non mad childhood and a regular family ? Am I scarred for life? Will i need therapy? Tell you what though, can’t wait to get embarrassing my own kids.


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